This post is based on Amy Morin’s book, 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do.
Let me preface this by saying, I have not read her book (yet), but I have read her summary post about it about 900 times in the past year – and I have some thoughts regarding my own
journey struggle journey to becoming mentally strong.
When I first came across this list, it was almost a year ago, and I had just re-injured my elbow so severely, that I couldn’t imagine playing guitar again. More than that, my doctors, and teachers/coaches didn’t think I would ever play guitar again. If you know me at all, you know that there isn’t a whole lot in life that I love more than being a musician. It’s pretty much the reason for my existence. So not only was I dealing with that stuff – but after years of teaching, I was unhappy with what had been happening in my studio, and had decided to take a break. I was in an unhappy place. I had isolated myself from a community that I loved, and I didn’t see a way to come back to it.
Of the 13 things that mentally strong people don’t do according to Amy Morin, I can tell you that I was doing all of them. These things are:
- They don’t waste time feeling sorry for themselves.
- They don’t give away their power.
- They don’t shy away from change.
- They don’t waste energy on things they can’t control.
- They don’t worry about pleasing everyone.
- They don’t fear taking calculated risks.
- They don’t dwell on the past.
- They don’t make the same mistakes over and over again.
- They don’t resent other people’s success.
- They don’t give up after the first failure.
- They don’t fear alone time.
- They don’t feel the world owes them anything.
- They don’t expect immediate results.
When I first read these- my initial reaction was “Fuck you Amy Morin!”. I didn’t think that any of my problems at the time had anything to do with me – or at least weren’t my fault. I wanted a quick fix, and I didn’t think I should have to do the work. I was pretty much the most spoiled brat on the planet when it came to viewing my situation. I viewed myself as a victim, in the worst way possible. While I have definitely grown this past year, and made some great strides in my guitar playing and the way I see the world (and myself in it), I am still struggling with some of these things. Continue reading