The Psychic

I went to see a psychic today this week. And it was wonderful.

Before this experience, I was more skeptic than believer. I felt that if you were having a bad time of it, a $50-100 session with a psychic might be a better investment than a weekly session with a therapist, if all you were looking for was to know that everything would all work out. But other than that, I have never really had much use for knowing what is coming up – as change is constant.

Today changed all of that.

I walked into the storefront feeling good.  Feeling like change is coming into my life. A lot of change. Good change. Necessary change. I have been feeling like life has gotten a bit too small lately, and I want to move on to new challenges, other places, find different people. I have been feeling like I want to add more of me into the world, and that is certainly a new feeling.

And here is what came up in the reading:

 

 

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Before we even started the spread, the card at the bottom of the deck (and apparently this is important) was the Wheel of Fortune. Didn’t I tell you that change was coming into my life. This is the card that makes things happen.  Change!  And then she (lets call her H) started laying cards down, and making really encouraging sounds.  And when she finished dealing (that’s what you call it, right?) she said – “this is really exciting”.  Cue the goosebumps!  I love it when people are excited!  Before I tell you about the cards – let me just say, that I felt like someone was standing behind me yelling “yes!” while pumping their fist into the air.  This is how positive that morning was for me.

First card “H” pulls is The Empress (thats me)- she is in reverse.  Which means there is some dissatisfaction. And that is the truth. I am ready to move to more creative pursuits.  I have dreams of opening my own shop – and I am scared. But the next card is the Knight of Wands – a man who knows what he wants, and he gets it.  A man who is dynamic, and is smart, and is driven, and who is going to take that journey with me.  I know this man – and he is a great influence in my life.  All of this is true.

Moving on, she flips over the Fool. The only card in the entire deck that worries me.  It worries me, because I don’t understand it. Before this week – I thought it was a reflection of who I am, someone that can’t be taken seriously.  A joke.  A flake of some sort. But its not true. The fool represents unlimited potential. It multiplies the effects of everything else by 10.  I was told that this is the card of blind faith. Of trust. To go with my gut – and believe in what I am doing. And now that I have had a few days to think about it, this may be the most powerful card of all, for me. Because what I have never done is trust in anyone, let alone myself. The time is now.

The Fool was paired with the six of pentacles. Which could mean that the creative endeavour could mean less money, especially in the getting started years.  But that less money does not mean less happiness. This is already a lesson I have learned in my life, it does not worry me. If the Knight decides to stick around – then I have nothing to worry about.

Next comes the Emperor – in this position, he is seen as a mentor. An older male – someone who believes in structure.  I have a mentor, he believes more in flexibility than structure – but he has his moments. He deserves a phone call about everything that has been going on (including this reading).  The card paired with it, is the 8 of wands.  This means travel.  And a relocation.  For work, for love, for life. Knight of Wands are you listening?

Which transitions into the next two cards, the two of wands- meaning travel, enthusiasm, inspiration; and the three of pentacles – entering into an agreement with someone, a partnership.  This tells us that the possibility for an overseas relocation could very well go hand in hand with a new job.  A more creative job. Less structure, more creation.  Maybe this will let me be the fully realized artist that I desperately want to become (and by fully realized, I just mean full time).

So far so good, its pretty much everything I want to happen. And then Hailey moves onto the last two cards.  The nine of cups – the wish fulfillment card. All of my dreams are coming true. The happily ever after that I have dreamed of my entire life is possible.  And so what is the final card – the only card that could come after a card like that. The Lovers.  Apparently the happily ever after comes with the Knight of Wands.

The really interesting thing that happened was after the major reading. She chose 4 additional cards – you can see them in the photos (they are the small cards), and two of the cards she chose had already appeared in the reading, the wheel of fortune, and the two of wands. Basically solidifying the fact that change is indeed coming – and there are faraway places to visit in my future.

So there you have it folks, my future. It looks to be a great one.

 

Rainy Days and Mentors

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I have a mentor. Or I had a mentor when I had a business. I guess now you could call him a friend who is much wiser than most of the people I know. He is kinda sage like. He also understands the way my brain works, which makes him unusual. Basically he is around to bounce ideas off of. And then helps me focus the ideas into something real or at least something a bit more focused (after a couple hours of chaotic brainstorming). Sometimes he puts ideas into my head. But usually the conversation between us starts off like 2 bouncing balls – they start out manageable – but with each bounce they get more and more excited and out of control.

Its been exactly a year since I decided to shut down my studio (which I closed in July of 2016), and I have spent this past year walking around in a daze. I have been so lost. I have ideas, but they don’t stick. I want to move to Spain – but I don’t have the money – because Im paying off studio debt and trying to save during this time, has proven impossible. I have wanted to relaunch the studio into something a bit different, something a bit entrepreneurial – but every time I seriously start thinking about it, I talk myself out of it.  And honestly, I really don’t want to work with children anymore- so its probably best that I just lay it to rest.

So to mark the one year anniversary of me making a decision – the mentor/sage/friend comes over to have a chat. Or give a tough love talk. The tough love talks take place during a walk in the rain. This is how it plays out (in actual fact, having tough talks and walking in the rain is a lesson he learned from me):

Mentor (him)- Lets go for a walk. Leave the umbrella inside.
Laura (me)- Im not up for it.
Mentor – Im not asking you.
Laura – …. sigh fine.
M  – You are not 14 and I am not your mother.  Lets go!

M-(starts singing a song about an oyster whose greatest dream is to be a part of a gourmet meal to be eaten).
L- smiles a little.  joins in but I don’t know the words so I just make them up. I suspect he has written the song -but the tune is too good to be his.
M- Stops singing.  Ready to talk?
L. I guess. But I don’t have anything to say. I wasted the year, and I still don’t know what to do.
M. Ready to listen?
L- …..
M- Do something. Anything. If you don’t want to teach, don’t teach. Build skyscrapers out of lego if you want. Do anything but stop sulking. Tired of kids – thats ok. Kids are tiring and sometimes boring.
L-I just cant figure out what comes next, nothing feels right.

M- The universe is telling you to let go of this dream for awhile. You are injured- you cant even play guitar.You want to continue on this path? Because Im telling you – you have been here before.You either do something different, or you will stay in this place forever, and I know that isn’t what you want.The last time this happened – you changed the way you taught music – and it was completely unique. Change it again. Either musically or non-musically. Just change it.
L- OK
M-What are you going to do?
L-Stops walking and stares at a puddle. I am completely soaked by this point. I shake off some of the water, wipe off my glasses – look at the mentor and say – what do you think I should do?

M.  I think you should write a book. What do you think you should do?
—-
This isn’t the first time this has come up. Well, its the first time this has come up with him. But the suggestion isn’t a new one. I could probably be a fairly ok children’s book author. But his suggestion was to write a book about my method of teaching. A sort of manual – but in a reflective style.

I don’t know how to write a book. Other than starting with an outline, I know next to nothing about writing. But I’ve been thinking about this for several hours now, and I haven’t talked myself out of anything. I haven’t talked myself into anything either, but that’s neither here nor there.

The mentor strikes again.

*Photo Source – somersetman via flickr